These are testing times for positive thinking. We are being bombarded with negative messages about the economy by all forms of media and doom and gloom seems to surround us. Even the Met Office has played a part today by telling us that the weather forecast for August, instead of the "barbeque summer" they predicted, will, in fact, be more of an "umbrella summer". Ho hum. Sussex and Kagools next week then!

I am a very optimistic person and I still feel knocked sideways every now and then by the negativity around. In fact a friend of mine laughed a great deal when the words "we are lucky the recession hit us so early" left my lips! "Is there no end to your optimism?!" she asked through the laughter. I do hope not.

So what do I mean by positive thinking? What I mean is that we need to think about what we do want, not what we don't want. For those of you who know me and have read my books, you know that I bang on about this in relation to communication (we are understood much more effectively and our children are much more likely to comply with our wishes if we tell them what we WANT them to do, rather than what we DON'T WANT them to do).

Thinking about what we do want has far greater implications than just communication. In our NLP workshops we teach people that you get what you focus on. Our thoughts act as instructions to our minds and bodies. Have you ever noticed that if you are getting a new car you suddenly see the one you want everywhere? The point is that when we think about something we focus our attention on it and all our unconscious energy goes into noticing ways of getting it.

When I was a about 15 years old, we were on holiday in Majorca with some family friends. I was swimming out in the calm water with the mother of the other family when she turned to me and said, "You know Emma, I admire the way that you are single minded about knowing what you want and then getting it". I had no awareness at all that I was in any way single minded and certainly didn't know WHAT I did that meant that I achieved what I wanted to. Have you ever known that you wanted something and there was absolutely no doubt in your mind that you would get it? It may have been a small thing and it may have been something huge. My husband absolutely knew that he was going to get in to RADA to train to be an actor and despite incredible competition, got in. He never doubted it. I knew what secondary school I wanted to go to, and there was no doubt in my mind that I would end up there even though there wasn't a place for me until two weeks before term started. I didn't doubt it.

Positive thinking produces positive results. If we set ourselves up to get what we want, we will work hard and notice the opportunities that are presented to us that lead us to our goal. My 11 year old son is a very good example of the power of focus and lack of it! All his teachers (yes ALL) find him extraordinarily frustrating because he loses focus so regularly. The recent result of which was a shock for him in the form of very poor exam results. It's a very different story when he DECIDES that he wants something. Oh yes, what a different story; the surprise winner of two competitions (not a surprise for him because he knew he was going to win).

Here's how to teach your children to think positively and get what they want in their lives:

1 Visualise already having or achieving what you want.

You may realise now, that if you have ever known that you were going to achieve something and there was no doubt, you will have imagined having achieved it over and over again before it came true for you. I remember writing the address of the school I wanted to go to over and over again and pinning it up in my bedroom. I imagined myself wearing the uniform and walking around the school.

A fun way to visualise is to keep a "Dream" book. I bought my two children an A4 plain paper sketch book this holidays. In it they have put pictures of all the things they want to have and achieve. It's very interesting what they choose to put in it - we have a range from "a barbeque on my birthday" to "when I leave Oxford University I will travel round Australia" (she's 9). I have learned a great deal about what they both want from life and how they go about it. We had a lot of fun creating them and looking at them every day is motivating.

2 Help them to believe that it CAN happen

Always encourage them to believe in possibility. Help them to think beyond "I can't" by asking them: "What would happen if you could?"

3 Encourage them to take the actions that they need to take to live their dreams.

I realise that there is a huge market in "Law of Attraction" products. They give the impression that all you do is think about something, sit around and it lands in your lap. It is likely that the Law of Attraction works precisely because your thoughts focus your actions and positive people attract other positive people. I doubt Napoleon Hill's best selling book "Think and Grow Rich" would have sold as many if it were called "Think, Do Something and Grow Rich"!

On the other hand..........We were recently disappointed because we were going to have two days cut off the front of our holiday next week. The people who are staying in the house are moving into a new house and all sorts of building work had gone wrong which meant they couldn't move out until Monday, so we would miss the weekend with our friends who we had invited to go with us. When I broke the news to the children, a tearful Hannah said to me, "I thought you were teaching us to think positively - so why are you telling us we won't be able to go?" I explained that it was a fact that they couldn't get out and there was nothing we could do about it.

She refused to accept that we wouldn't be there this weekend.

I have just had a phonecall saying that they will, against the odds, be moving out in time for Saturday..